Remembering our Eddie.

Eulogy for Edward P. McDermott delivered by his brother Michael McDermott on October 1, 2022

“Shadows are fallin’ and I’m running out of breath.

Keep me in your heart for a while

If I leave you, it doesn’t mean I love you any less. 

Keep me in your heart for a while. 

Sometimes when you’re doing simple things around the house, maybe you’ll think of me and smile. 

You know I’m tied to you like the buttons on your blouse. 

Keep me in your heart for a while.

Hold me in your thoughts, take me to your dreams, touch me as I fall into view. 

When the winter comes, keep the fires lit, and I’ll be right next to you.”

 Warren Zevon wrote these words for his family when he was in the late stages of lung cancer a few months before he died.

Eddie loved music, so it is only proper to quote lyrics from a touching song about loss in this reflection of Ed’s life. I think these lyrics capture very well how we feel about Eddie today.

The Collery and McDermott families, thank you for being here this afternoon to honor my brother, Eddie.  Our entire family is grateful for the outpouring of support, prayers and love that have poured in for him over the last couple of years -- but particularly this past week.

Thank you for posting to Facebook, sending a card, donating to the fund to help Eddie and Bernie, visiting Ed in the hospital or at home or saying a kind word to us when our paths’ crossed, we are beyond moved by your compassion.

Eddie was a devout Catholic.  He told me on many occasions that he felt your prayers and believed strongly that they carried him through the toughest days.

I would like to ask you to think for a moment about your own name.  How did you come to get it?  Maybe your parents named you after a loved one or maybe they just liked the sound of your name.  It’s a special thing, your name.  It’s your whole identity.  There may be others who share your name, but there is only one you.  It makes you unique.

Our Eddie was unique, too.  He was a kind soul that when you first met him, you couldn’t help but love him.   

Those of us who knew him well know that Eddie answered to several names.  His given name was Edward Patrick McDermott, in honor of after our Dad’s brother Ed, but from an early age, he preferred to go by Eddie. 

Sure, he would answer to other names, like Ed, or Never Ready Eddie, Or Edward if he found himself in trouble with our parents.  But without a doubt, my favorite nickname for him was Sweets.  We immediately understood why Tom Harrigan gave him that nickname over 45 years ago.  He was simply a sweet guy. 

Make no mistake, though, the names he cherished above all was “husband” to Bernie and “Dad” to Mary Kate, Aidan, and Lily.  It was no secret that family mattered most to Ed and he and Bernie built a beautiful one. 

One of Ed’s colleagues at Metra, Dr. Brenda Munoz, posted about Ed: “Where your treasure is, your heart is”.  Bernie, Mary Kate, Aidan and Lily, you were Ed’s treasure and his heart was always with you.

Bernie, I remember when you and Ed met in Florida.  He was so smitten with you I am not surprised that you would be the one to make his life complete.  You did complete Eddie so thoroughly that you both became interchangeable.  You and Ed became one. 

Thank you, Bernie for loving Eddie so deeply and for carrying him though his medical journey.  You never left his side and he relaxed when he saw you or heard your voice during those long hospital stays.  You are brave and my entire family remains in awe of you, we love you and will always be here for you.

Mary Kate, your Dad beamed at watching you grow into the fierce woman you are today.  He could not wait to show me video clips from your DJ gigs.  He would say, “the whole place is jammed to the rafters because Mary Kate is there tonight.  It would be empty otherwise!” He was so proud of you.

Aidan, as Ed’s only son, he loved watching you excel at sports.  It is clear to all of us that athletic talent skips a generation because Ed made a better spectator than participant!  He wanted you to pursue your dreams and marveled at how hard you worked to be the best, whether it was baseball, football or even school.  Hard work pays off and you are proof of that!

Lily, Lily, Lily.  Where do I even begin? You are a bright light in a sea of darkness.  A little girl who is wise beyond your years.  Would you do me a favor? You put your childhood on hold to care for your Dad and you were the best medicine he could receive.  But your Dad would want you to be that little girl again.  So in some ways, you grew up fast, but I beg you to find and keep that little girl spirit for as long as you can.

The McDermotts would like to thank Bernie’s family, both here and in Ireland for their unwavering support for Eddie.  We know Delores loved Eddie like a son and the Collerys loved him like a brother. 

Thank you, Rose Taafe, Valerie Quinn, and Naomh Quinn for flying from Ireland to be with Bernie, the kids, and us this week.  And please continue to pray for the speedy recovery of Bernie’s brother, Paul Collery as he recovers from a terrible accident recently in Texas.

I always knew my brothers and sisters were wonderful people.  I just never realized over the last couple of years just how special they, their spouses and their children are.  First with our sister Carol, and recently with Eddie, I want you to know that it is each of you I want by my side through every crisis we face.  Because we face them together.  Mom and Dad would be proud of us. 

To the Irish community back in Sligo and here in Chicago (mainly at Lanigan’s and the Sligo Association), thank you for adopting Eddie as a one of your own, a son of Sligo. 

He loved the Irish community and was so humbled for the outpouring of support you brought to Eddie and Bernie these past 2 years.  There are honestly too many in this community to name but you know who you are.          

I won’t go into great detail about Eddie’s resume.  But I will run down a few things that capture the Essence of Eddie.  You may have known some of these things, but probably not all:

You knew Eddie was the 8th of 11 children in the McDermott household. 

But did you know he was the 13th Signorelli?

Or the 14th Harrigan?

He was a member of the Lynch, the Rusch, the Psik, the McDonnell, the Vitaliano, the Millers, the Lang, and many other families.  Why?  Because it dawned on me that the Mom’s in each of these households loved and adopted Eddie as their own!

Did you know Eddie was a real-life cowboy? In his teen years, he spent two summers on a 35,000 acre working ranch, the 71 Ranch, outside Elko, Nevada.  When you picture Eddie doing this, think Rip from Yellowstone.

Did you know Eddie was a trained chef and worked at an acclaimed restaurant off the Magnificent Mile in Chicago? 

Did you know at the age of 24, Ed became the General Manager of one of the largest banquet facilities in Chicago and had close to 100 people under his leadership?

Did you know he was the unnamed target of a Mike Royko column? I think Royko referred to him as a “little weenie”, which amused Eddie but delighted our Mom and Dad.

Did you know that when he worked at Beverly Country Club (and he loved everyone at Beverly, staff and members alike), he convinced Michael Jordan to sign some sports paraphernalia even though he was notorious for declining such requests?  And he had the foresight to have Jack Nicholson sign a slew of Jokers from decks of cards at the time Nicholson starred in that famous role?

Did you know Eddie was in the room with 18 Congressional Medal of Honor recipients at a banquet at Beverly?  Our Dad, Tom, told Ed that it is rare to meet even one Medal of Honor recipient, but to be in a room with 18 is unheard of and Ed should consider himself lucky.  A few years later, Ed had the opportunity to meet another war hero, John McCain, when he was running for President in 2008.

At Thanksgiving 2020, Ed caught Covid-19, just as many people did.  But his Covid exposure led to more serious complications and eventually a lung transplant. 

Our family honors the lung donor and their family, for this wonderful, selfless act that gave us 16 months’ time with Ed we wouldn’t have had otherwise.

We also owe tremendous thanks the Northwestern Memorial Hospital Lung Transplant team for saving Eddie’s life.  In fact, we owe a debt of gratitude to the entire hospital staff, from the doctors and nurses, to the specialists, lab technicians, and maintenance staff who were all rooting for Eddie’s recovery.

Please tell your family, in Eddie’s memory that you want to be an organ donor.

I smile when I think of Eddie in heaven.  Our parents and grandparents, aunts and uncles who went before him welcomed him with outstretched arms. 

He is catching up with our beloved cousin Matt who passed away recently as well as the McDermott/Caraher/Clark cousins and relatives whom have gone before him. 

He is with our sister Carol and his friends, Jim Heslin, Mitch McDonnell and Roy Spitzig. 

When Eddie was in the hospital, he would listen to his own Spotify channel which had all of his favorite songs.  He would listen to this playlist endlessly.  One song really brightened his day and it became his own anthem, a song by David Allan Coe.  I’d like to read you his favorite verse:

“Well, I was drunk the day my mom got out of prison
And I went to pick her up in the rain
But before I could get to the station in my pickup truck
She got run over by a damned old train

And I'll hang around as long as you will let me
And I never minded standing' in the rain, no
But you don't have to call me darlin', darlin'
You never even called me
Well, I wonder why you don't call me
Why don't you ever call me by my name.

 I will call you by your name: Edward, Eddie, Sweets.  But no matter what anyone calls you, I will always call you my brother and my best friend.